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$5

06:59

Your Wallet Called... It Was Missing Me

DELULUNOMICS avatar
DELULUNOMICS@DELULUNOMICS
Your wallet has been spending far too much time with you.

So I'm taking over.

For the next seven minutes, we're conducting a very important Delulunomics experiment: how quickly can I turn a perfectly functional man into a useful little wallet?

I'll provide the instructions. You provide the money.

There will be sending. There will be praise. There may be throbbing. Unfortunately for your balance, throbbing has consequences.

I'm trying to become a millionaire here. I can't have you sitting around hoarding perfectly good money while there are coffees to drink, pretty things to buy and completely unnecessary purchases waiting to become mine.

So open your wallet, press play and pay attention.

Or don't.

I'm sure your wallet will understand the instructions.
Your wallet has been spending far too much time with you.

So I'm taking over.

For the next seven minutes, we're conducting a very important Delulunomics experiment: how quickly can I turn a perfectly functional man into a useful little wallet?

I'll provide the instructions. You provide the money.

There will be sending. There will be praise. There may be throbbing. Unfortunately for your balance, throbbing has consequences.

I'm trying to become a millionaire here. I can't have you sitting around hoarding perfectly good money while there are coffees to drink, pretty things to buy and completely unnecessary purchases waiting to become mine.

So open your wallet, press play and pay attention.

Or don't.

I'm sure your wallet will understand the instructions.
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100
00:21

$100 VOICE SAMPLE - 20 Second Introduction... this is another findom ripoff

Twenty seconds. One hundred dollars. That's $5 a second to hear Madame DeLulu's voice. Is it worth it? Absolutely not. Yet... you'll buy it anyway.

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1
02:03

A FinDummy’s Guide to Delulunomics

You clearly need an education. Fortunately, I’m here to provide one. In this two-minute lesson, I’ll introduce you to the basic principles of Delulunomics and explain the very important role you play in my economic system. No textbooks. No complicated theories. No sensible financial decisions required. Just me, you, and a revolutionary approach to wealth redistribution. Class is in session, FinDummy.

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1
00:43

VOICE SAMPLE: You're Already Fucked

Thirty seconds. That's all it takes to ruin you. One MP3 of my voice sliding into your head and staying there. Teasing. Demanding. Making you throb in places you didn't know connected to your wallet. This isn't a sample. It's a trap. And you're already caught. One price. Pay it. Then pay me again when you realise thirty seconds was never going to be enough.